Gooooooooooooooooooooooood Mooooooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrnig Vietnam!!!!!
The last news from me was that I was getting the train from China to Hanoi, the capital of Vietnam. The train journey was OK, but I had to wait six hours for a connection from Nanning in China, to the border town of Pingxiang as I got into Nanning at 02:00 AM! As I was boarding the Pingxinag train I met a couple of German girls, Trini and Maike who asked me if I was going to Vietnam and if I wanted to share a taxi from the border. Upon arrival at the Chinese-Vietnamese border we also picked up a British guy called Oli and a local Vietnamese girl, all headed for Hanoi. To clear customs we had to pass a health check, which, instead of seeing a nurse, meant we had to simply pay 2,000 dong to receive a certificate saying we were healthy! When I later calculated this, it worked out around 6p! We also saw a large glass cabinet full of opium, marijuana, heroin, ecstasy, coke (the real thing) etc, mostly stuffed into plastic drink bottles and plastic bags! One of the doors looked like it was slightly open, as if trying to allure tourists into 'borrowing' the seized contraband.
The other four cleared customs into Vietnam without any problems, while I was quizzed for a few minutes by the officials.
'How are you today?'
'Not bad thanks, yourself?'
'Good. What are you doing in Vietnam?'
'Just traveling.'
'Have you had lunch yet?'
'Sorry?'
'I SAID - 'Have you had lunch yet?'
'Erm...not yet...'
'Are you hungry?'
(Wait I don't remember this question on the immigration card....I look at my watch...it's only 11am)
'Erm.....yeah....I'm waiting to get into Vietnam....to try the delicious food there...'
'Aaaah weery good!'
'Um...yeah, can I have my passport back now?'
Finally the five of us were in a minivan bound for Hanoi, after the local girl in or group had negotiated down the price by 80% (tourist prices). We heard Hanoi long before we reached it, the sounds of a million horns rising above the roar of motorbike exhausts. If there are nine million bicycles in Beijing, there must be at least nine million motorbikes in Hanoi. After maneuvering our way though the dense traffic and past three! roadside accidents, we checked into a quiet guest house on a side street and headed for a drink to steady our nerves. Being a pedestrian in Hanoi is no easier than a passenger as the Vietnamese 'Green Cross Code' seems to be influence by the movie Fight Club; 'The first rule of driving - there are NO rules for driving'. Motorbikes whiz down both sides of the street, regardless to which direction they are traveling in, abandoning the use of indicators or obeying any traffic signs! Eventually we stumbled across 'Beer Corner' where four small cafes situated at a crossroad served beer to both tourists and locals, all seated on small plastic children's chairs similar to those in a kindergarten, with the words 'Bia Hoi' scrawled in chalk above our heads. Before we even sat down, the old woman sitting next to a keg was filling some glasses from a long rubber tube attached to the keg, using her finger to block the end. While the view wasn't the best (passing motorbikes pumping out exhaust fumes), the garden hose served beer was cool and refreshing, and certainly went down well, especailly after my 26 hour journey from Guangzhou. After four beers each, the bill came to just 40p, (10p per glass!)
Perhaps 'book' is a common name in Vietnam, as, everyday, many vendors braved the lines of motorbikes to get to my side of the road and shout 'Hello Book!' their huge boxes filled with rows of replica Dan Brown novels, Lonely Planets, and 'American War' literature, all of which you can bargain down to about $2. Once one spotted you, hundreds more would descend like vultures 'Hello Sunglasses? Where you from man? England number 1! David Beckham! Football man! Arsenal Chelsea yeah! Where you go, you need taxi? Nice hotel cheaper?' Declining their offers only led to them lower their voices, offering yet more services. 'How about smoke man? You like marijuana? Has for you mate? Opium? Tell me what you looking for? I find you nice young girl for boom boom?'
After just a few hours we already needed a break from the city, so the German girls and I booked a two day trip to Halong Bay, famous for its limestone cliffs jutting out from the sea. After a nice French baguette, we headed out early morning, meeting another British guy, Richard en route. We checked into our spacious cabins equipped with shower and toilet, the two girls in one, and me and the other guy next door. As soon as we left the harbour we could see that the trip was not going to be a disappointment! Despite the grey skies, the limestone cliffs were clearly visible all around us, the sun toasting our bodies as we lay on the deck. We were sharing the boat with an Indian guy, a British man with his Chinese wife, and two German couples, one of which were complaining they got the cabin next to the generator for refusing to give their passports to our guide. Later that day we took out the kayaks to row ourselves around the cliffs, ours capsizing and we tried to tie ourselves to the German girls kayak to make them row us around! After that, a few of us jumped off the boat for a swim as we were already wet from the kayak. The evening past lazily, with the four of us playing drinking games on the deck long into the night, culminating in a British invasion of the German girls through their cabin window. The next day we stopped off on an island for a bit of sight seeing, then back on board for lunch. After lunch we picked up a couple of French people who we tried to make conversation with but they weren't very polite (there's a surprise!) On the way back we stopped off in a factory shopping producing paintings and embroideries, with some suspiciously young employees. I asked one how old he was, to which he replied 'fourteen' before the supervisor came over and said he was sixteen. I saw an even younger looking kid (perhaps between eight and ten), but when I asked his age the supervisor interrupted saying he was also sixteen but looked so small because of something to do with the radiation from the war....hmmmm. Upon arrival back in Hanoi, the French people walked off without a word, despite my earlier attempts to make small talk with them.
We spent the next two days back in the capital to see the sights. We went to the Temple of Literature, Ho Chi Ming's mausoleum (apparently he has a two month holiday to Russian for maintenance, whilst skeptics say it's actually to Madam Tussuad's as the body is no longer real). In the centre of Hanoi there is a large lake where a giant turtle once appeared to claim the sword used by Le Loi to drive the Chinese out of Vietnam, and return it to it's divine owners. Next to the lake is the Water Puppet theatre, which uses techniques from over 1,000 years ago invented by the workers in their rice fields. The 50 minute performance was absolutely amazing, all the puppets were controlled from under water, and the only humans you could see where the choir playing traditional instruments and using vocals to produce the sound effects. Probably the bet $2 as have ever spent on entertainment!
On our second trip we took an overnight train to Sapa, the mountain region of Northern Vietnam, our group consisting of the two German girls, two Swiss and me. There we met some minority people and each person was assigned a personal guide. As we trekked along the rice terraces with the most amazing views, our guides made us grass animals from the plants, and although they didn't speak much English along the way, when we stopped for lunch they tried to sell us postcards, and handmade t-shirts, jewelry and bracelets. I brought a bracelet for my girlfriend to thank the guide foe helping us. We spent the night in a village with local people who cooked us a delicious meal, sleeping in a wooden hut with mosquito nets. There we bumped into the French from our earlier tour and the main guide, Zi, asked them if we minded if they stayed in the hut with us. After a couple of minutes of silence the French man said, 'I don't think we are wanted here' and stormed of, much to the delight of our group. Zi stayed up to play cards with us. She is a very humorous guide who insists on calling me 'Buffalo Man' and loves trying out her colloquial English such as 'I'll kick your arse' or 'Speak to my hand', as well as laughing at the Vietnamese English 'Same same but different' - much to the amusement of all us. The following day we carried on with our trek, visiting a local school and seeing many wildlife like pigs, buffaloes and chickens along the way. As we waited fr the train back t Hanoi once more, we played cards, using my bottle of snake wine (with a small snake still inside) as the forfeit for the losers.
We arrived back at 6am, collected our bags that we had stored in the guest house, and left for Nimh Binh where we stored our bags temporally and ired bicycles for the 15KM to Tam Coc. This area of Vietnam is known as the 'Dry Halong Bay' which has similar scenery but here the limestone cliffs rise above rice fields rather than the sea. The girls and I shared a boat to ourselves, enjoying the beautiful views and warm sunshine as we drifted downstream. The women rowing us down the river did quite a good job, so I brought them a drink each from a passing boat. Then they open a trunk full of bags ans t-shirts and the sales pitch came. The German girls brought a small bag each, thus given he two women a nice little profit, but they still tried to demand a tip when we left the boat! We then cycled back to the town, taking a detour past woman with conical hats leading water buffaloes through saturated rice fields. We climbed a big hill next to a scenic lake where we were the only Westerners for miles around, and were rewarded with breathtaking views of the paddy fields on one side, and the tourists being rowed down the river on the other.
That night we boarded the night bus to Hue where the girls would get a connecting bus, and I would stay for two nights. It was supposed to be a soft sleeper but it was overbooked, so we had to have the hard sleeper for the same price (no refund), and two Dutch girls didn't even have a bed and had to sleep on the floor! After leaving the Germans, I hooked up with the Dutch girls and we went on the city tour to see the Forbidden City (great, but not as magnificent as China's) and the Royal Tombs which are elaborate buildings and gardens, each created for just one Emperor when he passed away. We took a boat back to the city to have dinner, then I was forced to introduced the two girls to Long Island Iced Tea as they had never tried it! The bar and restaurant staff here, after asking where I'm from, would shout, 'Lovely jubbly mate! Diamond Geezer!' in their best Cockney accents, and one even welcomed me with Ali G's trademark, 'Boyakshar!'
When I came to check out, the bill for the two nights in the guest house, bike hire, the tour, the onward bus to Hoi An and a couple of beers came to just $30 (fifteen pounds), can't get much better than that! After the five hour journey to Hoi An, (central coast), a tout took advantage of my lack of sleep and brought me to a hotel where he would get commission, but at least it had a swimming pool. I hired a bicycle for the day, and after trying out a motorbike on the beach that night, I upgraded myself the next day. I drove down to China Beach which has beautiful white sand and blue sea, and Marble Mountain (similar scenery to Halong Bay). I also did a tour to My Son the old Cham runs of Hindu Temples, where all the Westerners were afraid of a snake in the rocks, and a local boy casually approached it and started poking it with a stick!
My next stop involved another overnight journey (to save on accommodation), to the coastal city of Nha Trang where I am currently. Here I have a nice hotel room overlooking the beautiful beach for just $8 per night. Nearby there is a monkey tied to a chain who amuses tourists by play fighting with the dog he lives with, I booked a boat trip to four islands of the coast of Nha Trang, where we could feed deer and ostriches and saw a show with an elephant and two bears who could ride bikes and even motorbikes (not the elephant, fool!) Our guide's name was 'Funky Monkey' and was always making jokes about he nationalities of everyone on board, 'Hey man, your Scottish, where's the whiskey?' or 'Hey Miss Holland, have you got some marijuana? Why not?' as well as being able to sing a song of all seven languages represented on the boat. Apparently the tour guides go to a special school where they learn about us, our jokes, what we eat etc, and was able to reproduce the usual Vietnamese jokes, '$5 me make you holler! Me love you long time!' There was loads on delicious food on the boat, way more than we could eat, and we even had a free 'floating bar' for one hour. 'Pissing twenty metres from the bar', Funky Monkey orders as we enter the water, 'Ladies on the left, men on the right, lady boys in the middle! Hold on to the bar otherwise you get free trip to Singapore, no visa needed!' There we lay in the sea in our rubber rings being served as much pineapple cocktail as we could handle - (just me and a German man left when the booze ran out!)
Yesterday I went to see the Big Buddha who watches over the city from the hillside, and them to a place with mud baths and mineral pools in the afternoon to sooth my sunburn. Today I rented a motorbike and drove down to the harbour to get a boat to Monkey Island, where many monkeys (similar to the one near my hotel) where fighting each other to get the food from the tourists - great fun!
So we reach an end of my news so far in 'Nam and my epic email draws to a close! I won't be online for a few days now as I'm taking a motorbike tour from here (Nha Trang) to Mui Ne (closer to Saigon) through the central highlands to see coffee production, silkworms, wildlife and local people.
Enjoy the photos!
Phil :-)
Hanoi
Sapa Trekking
Sapa Trekking 2
Tam Coc - The 'Dry Halong Bay'
Hue
Hoi An
Vietnam Markets
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